let God

Have you've been hit slump in your life? or currently going through it now? I believe everyone would go through that time at least once in their life. Because we are human after all. There will be an ups and downs in our life as we are created weak and in need of Him. Going through those time is surely tiring, you feel so overwhelms that you forget all the hopes within yourself. You forget all the words that you've read in Quran, or motivational books, or words from the scholars. Its not that you've never heard them, its just that you forget when all the trials suffocate and weakens your inner self. Because we're human. But because we're human, thats why Allah send us trials. Is it because He hate us? or is He neglecting us? NO and NEVER. In fact, it was a gift for us.

Do you remember the story of Prophet Yusuf a.s.? He have been thrown away by his own siblings, been imprison because of the things he didn't do, but later on became a powerful king. Do you remember the story of Prophet Nuh a.s.? He have been preaching for 950 years, but his people won't listen and instead being called 'crazy' that he is building a ship on a desert. How about our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.? He have been through a kill threat, stoned, and lost his three beloved ones while spreading Allah's messages. But all of them were success in their duty after a period of time. If Allah will, He could make it happen in a blink of an eye. But instead, He holds a perfect timing for a things to happen. Because He knows well, while we're not..

He said in every trials, there is ease (Al-Insyirah: 5&6). In every trials, there is a blessing awaits. The harder the trials is, the bigger the rewards. It might not easy, and it might be long; but put your trust in Him. He is preparing something special for you ahead. During this trials, keep trying, keep praying and keep reciting His letters to you so that you wont be sway by the devil. Lets wait for the time when He decided perfect for you to accept the special gift. Keep believing, stay strong, and let God...

lets not meet each other..

"do you ever wanna run away?
get scared you lost your faith
wondering if its gonna stop on you
walk out on you, yeah i do too.."

Lagu I do too daripada The Recklaw telah menjadi lagu kegemaranku sejak akhir-akhir ini. Liriknya begitu terkena dihatiku di kala ini. Di kala kadang aku ingin lari dari semuanya, dan terkadang cuba untuk kuat menelan segalanya. Saat ini biar berapa banyak hujah yang aku muntahkan, rasanya tiada siapa pun yang benar-benar mengerti perasaanku. Tiada patah kata yang mampu aku ujar untuk menggambarkannya. Aku tahu setiap yang Dia tentukan pasti ada hikmahnya, tetapi sebagai manusia biasa aku juga terkadang merasa lemah tika ujianNya melanda...

Ujian kali ini begitu meruntuhkan hatiku. Aku tidak tahu dimana mulanya, bagaimana aku harus mengakhirinya? Bagiku, persahabatan adalah perkara paling berharga untuk aku. Puas aku menangis, dan mempersoalkan diri aku sendiri dimana salahnya. Benarkah aku memburukkan namanya? Bila, dimana, kepada siapa... Dia seorang kakak yang aku hormati, banyak jasanya padaku. Aku tidak pernah lupa betapa banyaknya aku 'terhutang' padanya. Hanya saja aku tidak mengerti keputusan yang dia ambil, dan aku berasa agak kecewa dengan tindakannya itu. Dan seingatku, hanya itu kata-kata yang aku luahkan ketika rakan terdekatku bertanya. Bahawa aku kecewa dengan keputusannya, dan aku tidak mengerti kenapa dia memilih untuk bertindak sebegitu. Mungkinkah kata-kata itu yang memburukkan namanya? Aku sendiri pun tidak tahu...


Penat berfikir, aku putuskan biar saja aku menjadi 'the bad person' kepadanya. Tiada gunanya aku menghujahkan apa-apa. Mungkin saja aku ada 'saham' didalam perkara itu. Aku pegang kepada pepatah:
"Never explain yourself. Your friend would not need it, and your enemy would never believe it"

Akan tetapi, jujurnya aku tidak pernah berniat untuk melakukannya. Apa saja yang akan aku perolehi daripada semua itu? Namun, kala ini tiada lain yang aku patut lakukan melainkan mendiamkan diri. Barangkali kala ini perkara yang terbaik untuk kami hanya tidak bertemu. Biar luka itu sembuh, biar jurang yang ada tidak menjadi lebih besar.  Lets not meet each other...

p/s: if i ever tarnished your name indirectly, please forgive me..